”MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD”

Ladies heads up!

Most of this wonderful writing can be reversed to your Man!

In the areas it does not think about the fact that your Man wants to love, nurture and take care of you even if it appears differently!

I have to tell you this brought a tidal wave of emotion right up so that my eyes were leaking and my heart ached.

Marriage IS The Ultimate Relationship
The Conversation IS The Relationship
Forgiveness Is Divine
Respect IS Earned
Love Your Partner Anyway

Last but not Least

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER:

Go to bed angry on opposite sides of the bed:
Spooning is the best remedy. The one who is feeling the worst should be the one being held (inside person) and just listen to your breathing and heart beats. Before long your hearts and breath will be in unison and calm will surround you.

OR

Argue standing up with your clothes on:
You need to head to the bedroom and get naked, face each other unless it is too difficult. Wrap your arms around each other, take a few moments to get your breath and heartbeats in unison and calmly discuss the issue, remembering to listen to each other words. Keep your mouth quiet while the love of your life is speaking. Respecting each others thoughts will come much easier while you are snuggled up together.

Gerald Rogers got divorced after 16 years of marriage. Recently he wrote a eye-opening public confession on his blog… after I saw it, I’m totally with him. He writes:

”MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) NEVER STOP COURTING.
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER…
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions:
It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8) Allow your woman to JUST BE.
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY…
Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY…
Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT.
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY…
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…
And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE…
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing… (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE…
You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT.
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER…
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY.
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.”

My words:
Be the type of wife your husband can’t help but brag about.

EPIC Love Is Waiting For YOU ! ! !

and me!
Sue
@FaceBook

 

 

Why Record A Greeting Video?

It is an introduction of sorts!

Since we live in a virtual world, and cannot begin
to be face to face with everyone who is a potential
friend and or client/customer, this is the next best
way to introduce yourself.

Speaking face to face with a live feed may not be always possible
You can reach more people with a recorded greeting
It is evergreen

You know the song. . .

You have the Whole World in Your Hands

You do with our magnificent world at our fingertips!

You are tangible, human, someone
potential friends or customers can see
Respect begins with visuals
Trust blooms

Whether we realize it or not our essence,
mannerisms, who we really are shows
through that recording

Have you ever watched someone on video and said . . .
That person looks authentic and real
OR
WOW I would never do business or friend him/her?

There you have it!

Energy IS Everything
It is not mumbo jumbo crap

What we put out to the World sends whatever
Energy that we attach to it
Positive OR Negative

SO . . .

What do you do now?

Create a couple authentic greeting videos
depending on what medium you are currently
using.

For instance:
FaceBook
YouTube

Update the video periodically so that
you are current and it portrays
You right here, right now

If you have been to my YouTube channel you will find that greeting video as well as if you are my friend on FaceBook you will have received my thank you video!

Have fun with this
BE Your cooky self
Love Your Authenticity! ! !

Sue

Blood Orange~Ginger Saucyness

Blood Orange~Ginger Saucyness is

Scrumptious on anything
Dipping Sauce
Stove Top

This went fabulously with my Chicken Tenders recipe!

Ingredients:
3 small blood oranges
​1/2 tsp orange zest*
2 T honey
2 T coconut vinegar
2 T arrowroot powder
1/2″ fresh ginger root smooshed

* or you can drop an inch section of peel into pan while cooking

 

Optional:
Source Your Products Carefully keeping as many chemicals out of your body as possible

Small Sauce Pan
Low to Medium Heat

Pair with:
Sweet Potato or Yam Fries
Chicken Tenders

 

Squeeze all the juice from the oranges into the sauce pan.
Add the ginger and honey and heat slowly. This will not take long to boil.

Lower heat to simmer and cook for a few minutes so the flavors will integrate.

Add the arrowroot powder stir briskly

 

Plate ~ Serve ~ Dig In!

Sue
@FaceBook